Currently, I am not experiencing any type of conflict with anyone. I am normally a very easy going person, but I do not always compromise. So, instead of thinking of a current disagreement, I would like to discuss the way I was at one time.
I can remember several years ago I was not the ideal communicator. In fact, I would say most people would probably dread speaking to me! Not because I was mean or nasty, but because I refused to compromise and my way seemed the best possible way (in my opinion of course!) and I always wanted to control the situation. For so long, I could not figure out why some of my closest friends would avoid certain topics with me. Finally, I just decided they thought I was right and did not want to argue with me. Little did I know I was wrong about that thought!
Through the 3Rs and non-violent communcation, I now know why people did not like to communicate with me! I was not being respectful, repsonsive, or reciprocating whatsoever. I was trying to control the entire conversation and was not allowing my listeners to see I was an empathetic listener; rather, I was being disrespecful by not giving them respect by listening to their ideas and forming a compromise.
This week's resources have showed me I should avoid conflict and always incorporate the 3Rs. Oftentimes, I would be so controlling of a conversation that conflict would arise and I would not budge on my thoughts and ideas. I now know I certainly was not a victor in these types of conversations, but an egotistical, disrespectful, controlling communicator that had no regard for others.
I cannot say how thankful I am for this course on communication because I want to be the very best communicator I can be with my students, their families, as well as my own family, friends, and co-workers!
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteI thank you much for your comments on my blog and I will let you know how the situation concludes. Hopefully, our friendship is worth saving if not at least I can say I tried. Also, I agree with you about being thankful for this course because it enlightens us to our own actions. I think it is great that you are able to learn from your mistakes. Now you are a better efficient communicator.
Tarshia
I think that you made a really great point that sometimes we need to grow within ourselves to better communicate with the world. Great Post!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome Post!I am usually not a person to have conflict either, but I have taken on a new position at work and it seems like no one wants to listen to my words, so there has been some conflicts. I have learned i need to stop and think before I speak and that has helped alot. This class has given me some insight to share with others.
ReplyDeleteAwesome Post!I am usually not a person to have conflict either, but I have taken on a new position at work and it seems like no one wants to listen to my words, so there has been some conflicts. I have learned i need to stop and think before I speak and that has helped alot. This class has given me some insight to share with others.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this course is worth its weight in gold for the information it is giving us is going to help us in every aspect of our lives. Communication is key to our success and happy fulfilling relationships. I or one have a lot to learn and work on in my skills and I can now see from some of my interactions that others do too.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this course is worth its weight in gold for it is giving us skills that we can use in every aspect of our lives. Communication is key for success in life and for fulfilling relationships. I for one am learning a lot about my communication style, and I can see where others I interact with daily have a lot to learn as well.Great post .
ReplyDeleteI agree that this course is worth its weight in gold for it is giving us skills that we can use in every aspect of our lives. Communication is key for success in life and for fulfilling relationships. I for one am learning a lot about my communication style, and I can see where others I interact with daily have a lot to learn as well.
ReplyDeleteHi Susan,
ReplyDeleteJust to let you know I did post a comment to your blog yesterday. For some reason my comments are not being published until days later. I wanted to say "Thank You" for your advice about my conflict with my friend. I will let you know how things turn out between us. I do think I could have handled the situation better. Ignoring her might not have been the best choice but at that time it felt best for me. I am happy that you learned to be a better communicator. I agree with you that this class has been very beneficial. It has made me want to be a better communicator.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteThis is very good sometimes we do not recognize what we do but when we do we are willing to change to make the situation better. I also try to avoid conflict because I do not like arguments. I agree with everyone also this class is beneficial it will help me to be a better communicator.
I would say that compromising is not one of strong suits because I tend to like things done my way or no way which as cause me heartache and stress in my relationships. I have found in my 30s that compromising allow both parties involved to be winners…if there is a loser lol! Understanding the power of compose has encouraged me to become a better communicator and active listener.
ReplyDelete