I always refer back to my husband and the incident that happened to him in a department store. He was literally followed around once he walked in. (I believe this was because he was African American!) I, on the other hand was never given a second look. My husband just wanted to do some shopping and he felt like a criminal. He would never take anything that did not belong to him, and he was very hurt that someone would assume he was a thief because of the color of his skin. This entire incident made him feel inferior and he also thought the clerk may have felt superior to him because she was caucasian.
As my husband's wife, my first feeling was anger. I was so upset that someone would assume something because of his skin color. That should never be an issue. After I calmed down, and spoke to the lady about her actions, I actually felt empowered because I let her know what she did was racist, and she should be ashamed of herself. I felt sorry for her because she could not see past my husband's skin color to see what an amazing man he is!
I believe this lady would have to change to prevent this from happening again. However, if she was raised this way, it may not happen. There is a common saying, "You cannot teach an old dog new tricks." Sad as it is to say, many people were raised to believe things about other races, and it is has been embedded in their head for so many years that it is virtually impossible to change.
I feel very blessed to be married to a man that I love with all of my heart. I feel blessed that God sent him to me, and if someone cannot see past his skin color, that is their loss. It is so unfortunate that so many people still have this mind set. There are so many people in this world that are missing out on wonderful friendships!!
Susan,
ReplyDeleteA lot of people miss out on the great friendships because of their biases. I have seen what happened to your husband before except it was not raceism it was ageism. It just happened to be a teenager that got followed around.
I know that it is hard to see beyond what you grew up knowing as true, though I feel that it can be done. I grew up in a very racist and sexist location and I think that I have left most if not all those biases behind. It bothers me when others gets put down or talked about for any reason especially if it concerns who they are as an individual.
Luci
Susan,
ReplyDeleteYou are so right there are so many people that are missing out on meeting great people just because of their biases. A few years ago my boys were about 14 and 17 they would hang out that the local Wal-Mart this only store open all night in our area. One night they were followed around by security. They were just teenagers having a good time playing around in the store. I believe that it was because of their age that this happened.
I just don't understand how others can assume because of your age or race that you are going to steal something. I just feel sad that we still live in a world with such prejudice without getting to know someone for who they really are.
Catherine
It really is so sad the way that many people are treated because of the color of their skin. There are many people that do not ever look beyond the color of a person's skin. I wish that more people lived by famous saying, "Do not judge a book by it's cover." People should not be judged by the way that they look, it is the inside and the outcome of a person that counts.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar thing happen to me when I was a teenager. I got the distinct impression that I was being judged because I was a black teenager - so I had two strikes against me! It was an awful feeling, I felt so hurt and offended! I definitely avoided that store in the future.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about missing out on great friendships. I am actually bi-racial. My father was black and abusive, so I always avoided black men. I have recently become friends with a black man who is the sweetest person I have ever met. My bias towards black men, though influenced by my relationship with my father, hindered me from having relationships with other black men. It is easy to see how prejudices are formed, but it is sad that they happen and keep us from having worthwhile relationships with others who are different. Delores